*Originally posted HERE
Lately I've been thinking about how much time I spend on the computer. I'll be the first to (although ashamedly) admit that I have gmail, facebook, and blogger logged in and opened nearly all day when I'm home. It is a horrible addiction that I am determined to change. I'm tired of living a cyber life. I'm tired of always comparing my life with others.' I'm tired of reading about peoples' thoughts, rather than creating and thinking about my own. I'm tired of staring at a screen. I'm tired of letting precious minutes and hours pass by; time that I could be spending with my son. I'm tired of feeling like I have to compare my life to the "Mormon Mommy Bloggers."I'm tired of not progressing spiritually, physically, mentally. I'm tired of being stuck in a rut.
Something has clicked.
Things are going to change, whether I like it or not.
Facebook is great. It really is. It is a great tool for me to use to stay connected with friends and family who are not close, and whom I rarely see or talk to. I love staying updated on friends' lives, love, babies, weddings, events. I love posting pictures and getting responses. I like asking questions and getting answers. I like being connected with friends.
On that note, I find it ironic that the more connected I am on facebook, the more disconnected I am in my real life. I want to have real friends. I want to get out and visit and talk to people and be a real friend. I hardly ever do things with my friends. With a few wonderful exceptions, I don't have real friends. I don't have people who call me up to visit, to chat, to go on walks, to have baby play dates.
I know I am to blame. I am living a cyber life. I've had my fair share of "pity me" moments in my life, and I've learned very quickly that I am the only one who can make myself change. I have to be a real friend in order to have real friends. I'm ready to be a real, live, friend.
I have listened to many inspired leaders talk about this very subject.
I finally feel ready to make a change.
On a slightly different note:
Do you ever find yourself jealous of others' lives? Maybe jealous isn't the right word... Well, whatever the word, I have really been wanting to learn. I want to learn to make things. I want to learn to cook (and learn to like it). I want to learn to crochet. I want to be a really great homemaker. I want to be witty. I want to be creative. I want to be a great writer. I want to be original.
I often read peoples blogs and think, "I wish I could do that," or "how do they have time to do that," or "I wish I were as crafty as she is," blah blah blah....
I know I could do all of those things if I really wanted to. I know I would have plenty of time to do them if I'd get off the computer. I can be creative if I want to be.
There's been a lot of hype about the Mormon Mommy Bloggers lately. The only one I've kept up with is Nienie. And I will be the first to admit that she is incredible. Her story is so inspiring. Sometimes I secretly wish I could have as great of an influence as she has had. Sometimes I make myself feel like blogging is a competition. I find myself too concerned with comments and the stats. I want people to read my blog. I want people to like it. I want them to like me. I'm silly, yes, I know.
Sorry this post is scattered. I have too many thoughts at once and I don't know how to organize them.
Let's make this Simple:
1. I spend too much time on the computer
2. I want to accomplish more every day. I want to cook, create, sew, read, write, andbe.
3. I want to be a real friend, and I want real friends.
I want to talk, visit, socialize, and do things with other people.
4. Blogging is not a competition. Stats don't matter. Who am I trying to impress anyway?
Life is too good to let it pass by unnoticed.